A big ol’ leap of faith, this is.
I feel braver than I have
and stronger than I’d like to admit.
I mean, really….
what is there to lose?
The little beam of hope
it keeps me on my toes
keeps me going, going, gone
telling me, “There’s nothing left to lose
but everything to gain”.
When I wrote this I felt so brave. And then I tripped over and wondered, “Was I wrong?” — after a small phase of believing so I am now back to say that I wasn’t. Maybe the timing wasn’t just right, but it sure wasn’t wrong. I am happy for what was and what is to come.
I realize, going to college is nice. I’ve really enjoyed my first semester. There was a small period of time there near the end when I began to dread it all, but that’s only because of my own irresponsibility. I’ve learned to manage my stress levels, caught myself making excellent use of my planner, and found that I could make good friends too!
Just yesterday I had dinner with a few. One of my exchange student friends is going to visit her family in China and then going to Philadelphia for university. She was so sweet! I’ll miss her.
As for this summer, it’s probably going to be just like all my other summers. I’ll plan a million things and only end up doing a fraction of them. But maybe I’ll do it differently this time. I want to read all the books that have been piling up, paint all the pictures that I’ve had coming in and out of my imagination, I’ll kick it with a friend or two, I’ll try to get a job, work on all those little projects I’ve had saved up one day at a time. I’m just not going to worry about how much I get done. I’ll enjoy as much as I can. I won’t be afraid to love what or who I love anymore. I’ll help my mom out, be kind to my family, serve in church, be be be.
I will be.
Another story by me.
I was at the store and I accidentally ran into a little old lady on my way out so I gave her a shy little smile like saying, “Oops…hi.” and her face just lit up in the most magnificent way as she continued to clutch her walker. I felt really happy then.